1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
