I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
