I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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