yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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