you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
