Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize