What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize