..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
