I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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