I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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