I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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