Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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