I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
