I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dick very happy bro
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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