I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
