He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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