Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize