U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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