im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
