Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
