I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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