Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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