kristin has been a bad kristin
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize