dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
