If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Can you bring me the toilet please
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
