so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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