ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I need water and some morals
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
