We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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