Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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