omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
sarcasm needs its own font
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
