WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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