I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im drinking this country out of the recession.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
