i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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