Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
