i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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