if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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