You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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