remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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