anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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