I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
