whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
