It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
