I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
