you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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