I don't think brook has ever known best
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize