hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
