He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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