So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
