So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
