ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
