Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
