who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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