Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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