He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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