saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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