Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
