I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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